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Funny Self-Love Quotes
If you wish to avoid seeing a fool, you must break your mirror :d
Movies are shit, I started dancing at the vegetable market today and not one joined me.
When i’m on my death bed, I want my final words to be I left one million dollars in the…
I like to study.. Arithmetic – no … World history – no …. Chemistry – no …. Girls – yes!!!
For all the girls that say ….. All guys are the same …… who told you to try them all.
People who exercise live longer, but what’s the point when those extra years are spent at gym.
Love Quotes Funny
Some people should have multiple facebook accounts to go along with their multiple personalities.
I love my six pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat 🙂
God made everything that has life, rest everything is made in china 🙂
Laughing at your own texts before you send them because you are so damn funny.
Dear google, please stop behaving like a girl. Will u please allow me to complete the whole sentence before you start guessing and suggesting.
I look at people sometimes and think ….. Really?? That\’s the sperm that won 🙂
Only fools fall in love and I guess i’m one of them 🙂
Funny Love Quotes For Him
Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown male child who can not be handled by his parents anymore.
When a woman says what? Its not because she didn\’t hear you. She\’s giving you a chance to change what you said.
Please donate some money as I want to buy a new smart phone so that I can continue posting on the page on the go.
Running away does not help you with your problems, unless you are fat.
Girls, if he only wants your breasts, legs, and thighs. Send him to kfc.
I only need 3 things in life: food, wifi, sleep 🙂
How am I supposed to make big decisions when I still have to sing the alphabet in my head to get the right letter.
No girl want to be with a guy who can’t let other girls know he’s taken.
We are wtf generation …. Whatsapp, twitter and facebook :d
Boys think of girls like books; if the cover doesn\’t catch their eyes, they won\’t even bother to read what\’s inside.
That moment when even caps lock can’t express your anger.
I fucking hate when I write a facebook status and some idiot comments ..I don’t get it.
Funny Love Quotes For Her From The Heart
My bed is always extra comfortable when I need to get out of it in the morning.
Boys will be boys as long as there are no girls in the picture.
Dear lord, all I ask for a chance to prove that winning the lottery won’t make a bad person.
I don’t worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.
If life gives you lemons, just add vodka.
Having a best friend with the same mental disorder is a blessing. Lol
The only thing I gained so far in 2021 is weight 🙂
Friday is my second favourite f word.
Funny Love Quotes For Her
Boys, if you don\’t look like calvin klein models, don\’t expect us to look like victoria secrets angels. (from all bachelor girls association) 🙂
Years of education, solving tough problems, handling complex issues, yet we take a while standing before glass doors thinking whether to push or pull.
If da vinci code has been written by punjabi author then its name would be vinci da code!
The first five days after the weekend are always the toughest.
Funny Love Quotes From Movies
I don’t usually sleep enough, but when I do, it’s still not enough 😉
I hate when people all of a sudden decide to be funny when I am drinking something 🙂
Quit your job, buy a ticket, get a train, fall in love and never return.
If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they’re yours, if they don’t they never were.
Milk does the body good but damn how much did you drink?
I\’ve had a horribly busy day converting oxygen into carbon dioxide. 🙂
Hello, modeling agency? Yes! Umm.. I just got 37 likes on my new profile pic, I think I’m ready to go pro.
Dry fruits are just fruits that have become senior citizens.
I follow the quote, always be true to yourself because I only lie to others… :p :d
Love Quotes Funny For Him
Girls are funny creatures. They hate it when you ask their age but will kill you if you forget their birthday.
What I if told you…You the read first line wrong… Same with the second… :p
Todays relationships: you can touch each other but not each others phones.
Money can’t buy love but can buy woman to make love
If life gives you questions, google gives you answers.
If time does not wait for you, don\’t worry. Just remove the battery from the clock and enjoy life.
All my life I thought air is free until I bought a bag of chips.
Dear lol and hamm, thanks for being there when I have nothing else to say. :d
I love my ringtone so much, but when it rings in public, I get so fucking embarrassed..
Funny Quotes Love Life
I think I got a fever, a fever of you 🙂
Me: this movie isn’t even scary.
Girlfriend: its based on a true story!
Me: omg that’s some scary shit.
Girlfriend: its based on a true story!
Me: omg that’s some scary shit.
The only difference between me and a madman is that i’m not mad.
When ur gf blocks u on fb…
.
It’s called an electronic divorce.
.
It’s called an electronic divorce.
How can I miss something I never had?
Newton\’s law of love: love can neither be created nor be destroyed. Only it can transfer from one girlfriend to another with some loss of money.
Standing in the shower thinking…I really need a chair in here.
The question I have not been able to answer is “what… does a woman want?”
If a single teacher can\’t teach all the subjects then how could you expect a single student to learn all subjects.
Funny Self-Love Quotes
Thanks to google, wikipedia, and whoever the hell invented copy and paste. Thank you guys.
I’ve had a horribly busy day converting oxygen into carbon dioxide. 🙂
You actually have friends? Yeah bro, all 10 seasons on dvd.
When you first joined facebook you never thought this shit would be this addictive.
Silence is the best answer of all questions and smile is the best reaction in all situations. Unfortunately both never help in viva and interview.
For all the girls that say ….. All guys are the same …… Who told you to try them all.
Faces you make on the toilet lol (o_o) (>_
Marriage is like going to a restaurant and order your choice from the menu, and then look at a neighboring table n wish you”d ordered that.
Is there anything more awkward than when you are singing along to a song on youtube and the music stops loading.
If you love something, let it go. If it comes back, it was meant to be. If it does not, hunt it down and kill it.
At least mosquito are attracted to me.
Cute Funny Love Quotes
That awkward moment, when people ask: are you a couple? And you look at each other and wait who’s going to answer first.
When people don’t laugh at my jokes I just assume that they’re not up to my level of comedy.
I really need 5 hours of facebook to balance out my 5 minutes of studying.
We all have someone’s phone number in our phone and they have no idea we have it!
If sunny leone marries sunny deol, she will also become sunny deol :p :d :p :d
Excuse me …. Please empty your pockets …. I think you stole my heart.
A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house.
The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.
Love Funny Quotes
It\’s funny how people judge other\’s mistakes while they also do the same thing.
When I eventually met mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was always!
The most powerful words other than I love you is “salary is credited” 🙂
I hate people who steal my ideas, before I think of them 🙂
My name is i. My problem is love. My solution is you.
I used to like my neighbours, until they put a password on their wi-fi 🙂
Be careful of following the masses – remove the m and who exactly are you following?
Funny Love Quotes And Sayings
I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.
I want some one to give me a loan and then leave me alone. 🙂
It is a sad fact that 20% of marriages in this country end in divorce. But hey, the remaining end in death. You could be one of the lucky ones.
My family says I talk in my sleep but nobody at work has ever mentioned it. Lolz
My family says I talk in my sleep but nobody at work has ever mentioned it. Lol
Try to say the letter m without your lips touching.
I always give 100% at work: 13% monday, 22% tuesday, 26% wednesday, 35% thursday, 4% friday 🙂
One day your prince will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and is too stubborn to ask for directions 🙂
Dear google, thank you for doing most of my homework for me. 🙂
If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, nobody else wanted them either 🙂
In a dictionary, first comes divorce, then marriage
The human brain is amazing. It functions 24 hours a day from the time we were born, and only stops when we take exam or are in love.
Dear sleep! I know we had problems when I was younger! But now I lubbb you :-d
Funny Quotes About Love
I am sure I have a defective iphone, I keep pressing the home button and i’m still at work.
Dear math, stop asking to find your x, she\’s not coming back.
I wonder what happens when doctor\’s wife eats an apple a day. 🙂
My father always told me, ‘find a job you love and you’ll never have to work a day in your life.
Every girl deserves one guy who looks at her every day like it\’s the first time he saw her. And I’m that one guy 🙂
If school has taught us anything, it\’s texting without looking 🙂
When you drop your phone, your heart hits the ground before your phone does.
Flip a coin… If head comes, I am yours, if tail comes then you are mine. 🙂
I am not addicted to facebook. I only use it when I have time . . . . . . . . . Lunch time, break time, bed time, this time, that time, any time, all the time. 🙂
How do people write an auto biography? I can barley remember what I had for lunch yesterday 🙂
If you fix a time with your bestfriend to come at 6pm and he is there at 6pm then he is not your best friend.
I know the door to your heart belongs to another, but I think I can slip in through the window.
Most emotional moment in a boys life, when a girl says, can you give me your number :d
I speak two languages, body and english.
At least mosquitos are attracted to me.
Funny I Love You Quotes
Kiss me and you will see how important I am.
Dear food, either stop being so delicious or stop making me fat 🙂
Today has been cancelled. Go back to bed 🙂
I always learn from mistakes of others, who took my advice 🙂
I accused my friend of being gay yesterday… He was so angry he hit me with his purse.
When a bird hits your window have you ever wondered if god is playing angry birds with you?
I don\’t believe that love comes to those who wait. Today love comes to those who flirt. Lolz
It’s not that i’m afraid to die, I just don’t want to be there when it happens. – woody allen
Funny Quotes About Marriage And Love
Fact: phone on silent mode- 10 missed call… Turns volume to loud- nobody calls all day!!
Nothing is illegal until you get caught 🙂
I swear my pillow could be a hairstylist I always wake up with the weirdest hairdos. :d
In bed, it\’s 6am you close your eyes for 5 minutes, it\’s 7:45. At school it\’s 1:30, close your eyes for 5 minutes, it\’s 1:31
I always learn from mistake of others who take my advice 🙂
A woman has only 2 problems. 1. Nothing to wear. 2. No room for all the clothes.
Funny Love Quotes
I think my iphone is broken. I pressed the home button and i’m still at school.
Give me food and a pc with internet connection and you wouldn’t hear about me for ages.
Its better to fail than to cheat but its better to cheat than to repeat.
Girls work on their looks but not their minds b’coz they know boys are stupid, not blind.
Please god if you can\’t make me slim, make my friends fat.
There’s like 7 billion people in this world and no one wants to date me. I hate this world … Huh
Admit it, you listen to other strangers conversations and mentally give your opinion.
I’d like to thank the internet, google, wikipedia, microsoft word, and copy and paste 🙂
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